Sacrifice

Have you ever considered sacrificing pigs to pacify the evil spirits plaguing your internet connection?
Don't answer that, rhetorical question.
And Western medicine has failed you anyway.

Modern technology has brought us far. As far from being human as humanly deemed possible. For every new software coded to make life easier, theres a bug born to make your oh-so-sweet new computer seem like a complete idiot.
And whoever needs a printer to work when it should?All we love to hear is its pttrr--phutt--phuutttt when our dad is breathing down our necks asking us to print him the most important document he ever received in his e-mail since the announcement of the lifting of the Emergency.
No wait, that was snail mail.

Bah, I'm not my brightest best in this life, I can't possibly be. For if I were, I wont be lame, and silly, and boring myself (and you) with my nonsense and actually flying to Delhi and making out with my girl.

Oh, and theres nothing like a pseudo emotional blog title to get people to read. Either that, or sex. Or a picture of a naked woman.


For most 14 year old idiots doing porn at their parent's homes, the speed of sound is defined by the distance from the door to the computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING".
Yes, thats true. It really is. I know, I've been there too.

And most importantly, I'm gonna get rich when I invent something to stab people in their faces over the internet. You might argue that I'll die as soon as it becomes a world wide hit. Well, I've planned it out already, I'm gonna build a wall of money in front of my laptop screen. Everyone knows, when money talks, software listens.

Soweeeeeeeet!